Birthday

My birthday is in a little over a week and I haven't lost nearly as much weight as I really wanted to I think I let the stress from my job get to me. I hope that for my wedding I can lose many many lbs. I'm getting married this summer and I feel super excited for it but I want to fit into a beautiful nice dress. I am going to spend $$$ on a wedding dress so I have to make sure my body is perfect for it I'm going to go get fitted for it in July so I need to come up with an amazing diet plan for the month of May. First off I can't eat after work anymore, I get off work at 6 so instead I should just go to the gym take a shower and drink lots of water afterwards and go to sleep. I also should just eat once per day during my lunch hour I feel like that is more than enough. I bought a bunch of the healthy choice frozen meals. They are still too many calories in my opinion (300-400) per box but I really need to get strict and serious with my weight loss. If I really don't take this seriously I am never going to lose enough weight. Luckily I have a co-worker who really motivates me and tells me to start going to the gym now because time goes by very fast. She is absolutely right. Also the slimstyles was really disgusting I wouldn't recommend it at all. I had it for over 2 weeks and the last time I had it I ended throwing it all up because it was so disgusting. I just couldn't handle it at all it made me feel really "full" but it was more like the fattest person ever and it made my stomach feel bloated. It's a really disgusting feeling so I would never ever do it again. I would like to blame my failure on the shakes but it was my fault because I made the decision to eat those things. I need to lose tons of weight I'm thinking that Monday I will try to do a fast with water and a yogurt to kickstart my weightloss. Then on Tuesday I can start eating my one meal and going to the gym afterwards. I think I want to go for one hour after work so that I get home around 7 thirty and then take a shower and go straight to bed instead of staying up thinking about the temptations of the fridge. I hate when I have thoughts about food. To me getting caught eating something tasty or high calorie is worse than getting caught watching porn. As strange as that sounds that is how ashamed I am of myself and I really don't want to feel this way anymore. The only solution is starvation nothing else can heal my broken heart.